Zoe Ball broke down in tears over her regret at not telling her late boyfriend Billy Yates that she loved him before he committed suicide.
The 47-year-old television personality was devastated when the Antiques Show cameraman took his own life last year, and wept when she recalled their final goodbye when she took part in Sport Relief in his memory.
Billy came to see her and as he left, he “blew a kiss goodbye.”
“He called me and his little face was there and at that moment my heart exploded with so much love and I thought that whatever it is we will get though this because I love him so much.
She added: “I wish I’d told him that.”
Zoe and Billy began dating following her split with DJ Norman Cook. Billy – who was aged 40 when he died – was found by a friend at his London. Zoe’s one relief is that she got to say goodbye.
Former Eurovision Song Contest presenter Katie Boyle has died, aged 91, 20 March, peacefully at her home [Getty]
[Sport Relief 2018]
“He hopped on his bike and he cycled off and he blew me a kiss goodbye. That was the last time I saw him and I feel really grateful I got my goodbye.”
Zoe embarked on an epic cycling challenge for Sport Relief in Billy’s memory, and she met people with depression to learn more about how to help sufferers. She admits there are times where she “can’t believe” Billy is gone, and peaking during her Sport Relief documentary on BBC One, she added: “He was the life and soul of the room and working with him was brilliant.
“He was so well-read and he had a real scientific mind and I would be lost in the stuff he knew. To do something for him – the beautiful, loving man who’s life ended way too soon – I think it’s a really nice thing.
“I’m going to have to dig deep and it’s going to be emotional. There are times I really can’t believe he’s gone. I knew how much pain he was in but you just want to say, ‘Come on, stay with me and let’s find something positive and get you out of that headspace.’
She added: “It was [getting] harder and harder to do that.”
Speaking about why she took on the cycling challenge, she said: “I had taken on the challenge because I felt compelled to do something positive in my boyfriend’s memory after he died last year following a long struggle with depression.”
If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.